LIFE IN A METRO:2

There are times in your life when you want to live the life of a murderer.

OK I see few saints and geeks are already disagreeing(Its for you people that I feel that feeling many a time).

I spent my last weekend at Banaras - the garrison of Hindus.I had a seminar at the heart of Hindu land, dealing with everything Hinduism and other religions are wrong about.A detailed analysis of the seminar and discussions will be put up real soon.
This post is about the train of events that followed the moment I started my return journey.

I bid adieu to all my friends at Banaras and caught a Vikram(shared one) to the Mugal Sarai station.For those who know what a Vikram auto is, would be well aware of its capacity.There at Banaras Vikram doesn't move an inch till there are 11 passengers packed like chickens, in it.The driver and the conductor swell the figure to 13.Imagine my plight.I started at 7:30 pm and I had to catch the train to Howrah at 8:15 pm.Thanks to the dexterity and the callousness of the driver I made to the station at 8:30 pm.Showering infinite admonishments I ran towards the platform.There they informed me the train was running 1 hour late.Pitying on the auto wallah I took a bite of veg patties only to spit it out the next second.Another round of admonishments followed.
The train arrived 1 and half hour late and I immediately took possession of my seat neglecting a plea from a fellow passenger, of exchanging seats.(He was offering a middle birth.F*** these intellectual junta who think very smart of themselves).My refusal didn't go well with him I suppose, for he was constantly staring at me for the next hour of our journey.

I woke up to a sunny morning and found the train stuck and sandwiched between two other trains somewhere in Bengal.Upon inquiring I learned that a group of people from Jharkhand had blocked the rail route connecting Howrah to Vardhaman,hence the impasse.I saw the time:6:30 am.Without a vestige of how events were going I was standing there,stuck and hungry.Finally the train moved,after 5 hours.I reached Howrah station at 1:30 pm.Inquired few cabs.None were ready below 300 bucks.Felt like killing them(Now you know when).Shouted at the conductor of a passing bus;9 bucks he said.I did the math.(I wish I hadn't).

It was raining outside and we closed our windows.The heat and filthy odour of human bodies filled the bus.Within minutes I was boiling in rage.Jams,signals,heavy traffic and narrow road all steady in welcoming me back here.

Finally I reached my stop.

It took me 2 and half hours to travel a distance of 17 kms.

NEED I WRITE MORE?

LIFE IN A METRO

In the cacophony of hurried footsteps and screeching trains, I yelled for a taxi at the top of my vocal limits.Ten cab drivers came running towards me.
“Where do you want to go, sir?” All of them together.
“Park circus............” I was apprehensive.
“That will be 300 bucks, sir” again all of them together.
“F U” I said politely and walked away from them.
At the exit I found an old man gnawing a gum so hard that he almost bit his lips.He offered a decent fare and my first day at Kolkata started rolling.
A very rough driver he was.A bruise over my left eyebrow bears a testimony to that.
That was 28th of December 2008.I wish that day had never happened in my life.
For those who stay in other metropolitan cities-keep rocking and to all my brethren in Kolkata-my sympathies.
With great expectations I had come to Kolkata and today it will be an understatement to say that all my dreams have drowned in Hugli River.

The sobriquet “Eye of the east” purely describes Kolkata of the past.In the march of development Calcutta left no stone unturned and when Delhi and Mumbai were seeing the light of the day Calcutta was setting unprecedented standards.A phenomenal growth triggered by the ideas of Marx, Calcutta was an envy for the north and south alike.
BUT, then that was where the movie ended.The story of Calcutta remained untold and slowly lost its sheen in the gale of development that swept the rest of the country.
Tremendous traffic on the roads and crowd on the footpath greets you wherever you go in the present day Calcutta-Kolkata to be precise.Traveling a distance of 5km takes over 45 minutes and each time you hit the road you are in battle with myriad halts which are invisible in other metros.To make the things worse the traffic management is a total failure.Yesterday I was stuck in a jam for more than an hour and the direct casualty was our plans of partying in the house.As we snailed through the traffic I signaled my middle finger at the traffic police,who I guess, confused it to be a mark of appreciation.His stupid smile was a reflection of the thought.
Climate of Kolkata is hot and humid throughout the year. Occasionally Devil pees from hell and Kolkatans are spared relief for a brief period ranging anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes.The sweltering heat that follows is another story.Mercury likes staying high for most months of the year and wearing jackets and sweaters is a rare experience.Thanks to my job, I spend my summers outside Kolkata and this year I had a blast in Bihar.Go here to know more.Lucky for me that I stay in the 6th floor of our apartment building and its cool up there.But when I move out I am all boiled from top to bottom.My ass soars and head reels as I stay jammed in the ever growing traffic of Kolkata.Having a personal vehicle doesn’t help either.To make the matters further complicated, Tata Nano is all set to set the Kolkata’s roads on fire(Hope I am wrong here or else our butts should gear up for an interminable and nasty rendezvous with the dilapidated seats of minis).Buying a bike has become imperative.Nothing much would change though.5 kms will take 30 minutes then.But the true essence of a bike- SPEED , will always elude you in the streets of Kolkata.To experience the thrill of biking accurately described in words, go here.
For shopaholics I have sad news-there are just two malls in Kolkata where you can hang around.(Malls of the size you would miss in Delhi and Mumbai in a blink of the eyes).One is very close to my place.South City they call it.Today you have better options in Guwahati than in Kolkata.Development in the city has taken a reverse gear and frequent bandhs are further damaging the image.Salaries are swelling everywhere and a owning car is no longer a luxury.The developers and planners of Kolkata seem to have neglected this possibility and today there are thrice the number of vehicles on the roads than the figure Kolkata Traffic police can handle.Who is to blame-the government or the people?
Awrodh ie to block the road as an instrument of protest, is very frequently exercised by the people of Kolkata.In my 5 days of stay in Kolkata I have witnessed 1 total bandh, 6 awrodhs and numerous jams.Have mercy on me. Unionizing assumes a different dimension on the lands of Bengal.Innumerable unions rule the roost here.Fighting for one’s space has never been this rigorous in any other part of India.Thanks to Mamata Banerjee I witnessed a scene of mob burning buses from close ‘quarters.A simple contention may spark a conflagration in the streets of Kolkata.Few days back Congress supporters charred 4 buses.Once the pride of India is fast losing the battle of ranks and is waning in comparison to 2nd tier cities like Baroda,Pune,Guwahati etc.Trajectory of growth here is spiral with vortex lying below.Recent incidents like Singur and Nandigram have shaken the confidence of India Inc..A reticent government and recalcitrant opposition are not searching for ways to bring Kolkata back on the track of development.Once pioneers of progress, are now lagging far behind.People here have resigned to their fate.Transition to total communism never took place and neither capitalism was allowed to spread wings.In this wild frenzy of human existence it becomes indispensable to ask if we are moving ahead?When the state of Kolkata is this then how is government expected to eliminate poverty and herald development in rural levels?Recent Lalgarh incident is still fresh in minds of the people.The movement of growth will be engineered by masses and the youth.The change is just round the corner.We have to step forward and fuel the engine of change.Change not just Kolkata but entire India.


Those who disagree with my opinions, I am sorry but you suck.



AND THIS IS JUST TIP OF THE ICEBERG.